Alcohol, I loved her, but she was like the best friend who caresses your cheek, and says, “Just f*cking do” when you’re standing on the edge of a cliff thinking about jumping. Then after building you up, you’re like, “I’m gunna f*ckin’ do it”, but it’s too late – she grabs a fist full of your hair, chops it off, Spartan kicks your ass off the ledge, and you pee your panties. Ya know? You can’t trust her.